Pride Day is a celebration of both life and love.  Witnessing the gallant pageantry and crowd excitement, the wonderful and lively music, the poetic and stylish dancing, the thought provoking rallies in the revolutionary march that began forty-two years ago is a special and enjoyable phenomenon. The Pride March brings our LGBT communities with others who are open and understanding as we experience together the joy of freedom in celebrating neighbors, friends,’ families, and our right to live free of fear and harassment. 

Pride Day is a unique opportunity to show the world the pleasures and passions of equality and fairness for everyone.  Employing Fifth Avenue as a grandiose stage produces a grand musical opera about how far we have advanced, where we remain stagnant, and what steps are required to reach yet another finish line.  The actors include the entire enthusiastic crowd and the triumphant marchers, and both are happily performing in this distinctive moment against the greater historical construct.  This timeline of societal development is the basis for the eternal and continuing human saga of the recognition of others and the confirmation of basic human rights and equality for all

This year’s Pride Day was especially heartfelt, as New York State became the sixth and most populous state in the union that guarantees marriage equality to all couples.  Many in the crowd had banners thanking Governor Cuomo for his diligent efforts working behind the scenes with the several hold out Republican New York Senators.  His outspoken voice and hard work were instrumental in this fight, and ensured the passage of gay marriage this year for New Yorkers.

The New York State Senate has taken a significant step by recognizing marriage is a human right.  New York has been one of handfuls of states by passing progressive laws before the majority of the nation including ending racial discrimination and allowing women’s suffrage. Having the vote come down to the final days of the legislative session of the Senate produced a dubious quality as supporters and opponents of marriage fairness faced off yet again in Albany.  The indecision of certain senators and the tight-lipped vote count kept each group uncertain if this would be the year of equality, or another loss to bigotry, inequality, and unfairness.  Media outlets all over the state updated the public with news from Albany on an hourly basis creating a classic dramatic finish. The culmination of the last session date and the lateness of the hour created a calming and serene effect aided with the Governor signing the bill immediately thus transforming the legislation into law and the moment into history.

Many years ago, to have such a day would produce an outrage, not unlike the integrating of an Alabama city bus during the era of Jim Crow, or a women voting in her state during the latter part of the 18^th century.  Prejudice and bigotry never relent in their eternal fight against justice and fairness. Frequently manifested are the despicable actions some individuals exhibit as a testament to their misguided ignorance.   Their hearts rage with their own dark doubts and unjustified suspicions.  Often, the educated, enlightened, and accepting members must pull those who are afraid and fearful, into the light, thus securing the future progress of the society.

Pride Day provides this awareness by assembling the elaborate Fifth Avenue stage that displays a greater familiarity of our community to others less accepting.  Confronted with this knowledge, they typically recognize themselves for who they are, and then can initiate their own healing process.  The cure begins by realizing liberty is for everyone, and then a deeper and greater understanding recognizes tolerance of all is the seal of our nation, and acceptance of others is the bulwark of our Constitution.

This is one of the great successes of the many featured celebrations displayed on Pride Day in Manhattan. 

Marching with the New York City chapter of the ACLU was very uplifting since we had worked on numerous letter-writing campaigns, and made several trips to Albany together. Many of us met and discussed at length about marriage fairness with our duly elected senators and assemblypersons.  Working closely with these volunteers and new found friends and finding them here, provided a feeling of fulfillment and completeness – like a war veteran seeing members of their elite unit alive and unharmed, after a long and weary, but highly successful battle.

As expected, the crowd increased from last year’s event notably due to the passage of marriage fairness.  Leading the parade were several dignitaries and included Governor Cuomo, Mayor Bloomberg, Senator Duane and City Council Speaker Quinn.  These outspoken public servants used their influence and political capital to advance the cause of equal rights for all, and a special thanks should be extended for their efforts promoting and guaranteeing freedom for all New Yorkers.

So many groups and individuals contributed to this success, and it is not possible to provide a comprehensive listing for all of them.  However, for anyone who has contributed with these efforts and continues to speak out, rally and protest for equality and justice for everyone, please know that those individuals now who benefit, and all of those that will follow appreciate your work

Thank you to every volunteer who has helped or supported the cause of marriage fairness and equality for New York State. 

Thank you to everyone who has called his or her senators and assemblypersons to voice passage of this legislation.

Thank you to anyone who has traveled and marched for marriage fairness in Albany.

Thank you to those who have discussed with their neighbors and friends why marriage equality is important.

Thank you to anyone who has fought for and continues to fight on this issue using their voices, their pens, and even their hearts. 

Thanks and have a wonderful and happy Pride Day!

I recently engaged in a brief conversation about traditional marriage with a local resident while collecting post cards in support of Marriage Equality at a mall just outside Peekskill.  She kept insisting that traditional marriage is defined in the Bible and should stay that way.  This got me thinking about the patriarch of ethical monotheism, Abraham, and his family relationships.

The union of Abraham and his wife, Sarah, had remained childless well into their old age, when it seemed any hope of Sarah being able to bear a child bad long passed.  It seemed that G-d’s promise to Abraham, that he would sire a great nation, would go unfulfilled.  Abraham had, however, fathered a child, Ishmael, with his wife’s Egyptian bondswoman, Hagar.  In Torah, polygamy was the accepted marital structure, and slavery was an accepted social structure.  So, I wondered, rather angrily, how this woman would react to a return to real Biblical marital and social structures; she would probably be one of many wives, and quite possibly a slave.

But then I began to consider this story in greater depth.  Finally, at the beginning of Genesis 21, Sarah miraculously conceives and bears Abraham a son, Isaac.  Amidst her joy, Sarah is also gripped with fear and anxiety that Abraham will favor his eldest son, Ishmael, and Isaac will never gain his father’s favor.  So she convinces Abraham to cast Hagar and her son out into the desert.  Abraham complies with Sarah’s wishes, and sends Hagar and her baby out into the wilderness with some bread and a bottle of water.  The bread and water are soon gone, and Hagar rests Ishmael in the shade of a shrub and walks off in tears.  Hagar knows both she and her son will soon die, and she cannot bring herself to hear his wails as he slowly thirsts to death.  But, Torah tells us, G-d hears the child’s cries and tells Hagar to fear not, for Ishmael shall also sire a great nation.  G-d opens Hagar’s eyes, and before her she sees a well of water.  She and Ismael are saved, and G-d’s promise is fulfilled.

Here is a child, born of either an adulterous or polygamous relationship with a slave, and yet, with death only moments away, G-d’s mercy manifests as a spring of cool, life-sustaining water.  What does this say of our G-d?  To me, it says G-d loves all G-d’s children, that G-d is a G-d of infinite mercy, and that this mercy manifests in the most impossible situations – for Sarah, for Abraham, for Hagar, and for Ishmael.  This is not a G-d who creates children only to despise or abandon them.  And that includes us, G-d’s LGBTQ children.

But there are other layers of meaning in this story.  When Sarah first entreats Abraham to send Hagar and her baby away, he grieves.  He loves Sarah, but also loves his son Ishmael.  But G-d came to Abraham and instructed him to comply with Sarah’s demands.  Just as G-d had a hand in redeeming Hagar and Ishmael, G-d had played a role in their expulsion from Abraham’s home.  Perhaps this is also true of our struggle for Marriage Equality – it seems, at times, that we have been cast out by G-d’s own people.  Perhaps they are, unwittingly, playing a role in bringing us to G-d’s spring in the desert.  Could it be that there are dynamics of our struggle that we cannot even begin to fathom?

In the end, to me, Hagar’s cries in the desert are the lamentations of G-d; G-d as the Shechinah, the nurturing female, the womb of all.  G-d beholds us, created equally in love, harming one another with jealousy and hatred, and G-d cries.  Why should one child enjoy a birthright while another is denied even basic shelter, food and water?  Why should one child enjoy protections under law that are denied another?  Why do G-d’s children turn on one another, fight with one another, rob one another?  What are we to learn from this, how do we all come to the point where our love, like G-d’s, redeems us all?

So, what started as an angry reflection on Biblical tradition led me to a point where I see  the struggle of our community for full equality, justice and acceptance as a struggle ordained by G-d, and one in which G-d will never let us fail.

This past Monday I fully expected the Marriage Equality vote to go to the New York State Senate. All our advocacy organizations stressed we were as close as we have ever been. Just one more vote and we have marrage. Years of hard work come to furition.

But like the Isrealites who wandered 40 yaers in the desert, it seems like we have had a long journey in the wilderness. Year of waiting followd by this excrutiating week. Annie, my spouse, and I are enrolled in Education for Ministry, so scripture is often on our minds these days. Indulge us.

How much longer can we wander? “How long, Oh Lord, how long?”

It is now late Wednesday evening and we sit here listening to senators debate on every other issue but marriage. Seems like torture. So now we hear the Marriage Equality vote may happen tomorrow, June 23.

We’ve made our calls. We’ve sent our emails. Now we take consolation in wisdom.

“And the Lord said to Moses, ‘Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance that the Lord will bring you today. The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still.”

The last diary, which I posted yesterday, was called a Call to Action and the aim was to discuss the upcoming New York State Senate vote for Marriage Fairness.  At this time, only one additional senator is needed to pass the measure, and the post related why the pressure must continue (especially for those in New York) to ensure passage of this measure.

Today I would like to relate some of the arguments opponents of marriage fairness use and to refute them.  Many of the fence sitting senators, and indeed some of the more vocal opponents, use these standard memes in an effort to distort the reality that marriage fairness is a civil right.  Understanding that equality and justice are what makes this country great (despite the fact that often people must fight for these rights although they are enshrined in our documents and laws) should be the focus of the discussion rather than the tired and old suppositions of superstition, fear, and prejudice.

After reviewing different search engines for objections to Marriage Equality in the state of New York four factors were highly emphasized.  These are listed below:

• Reducing the Functionality of Marriage

• Harmful or Unproductive Child Development

• Religious Persecution (due to a religious group refusing to accommodate certain rites within their particular scope and being sued for this refusal)

• Social Disorder

Reducing the Functionality of Marriage

A monogamous marriage as understood by Americans is one person who is married to only one other person. This is a bare bones definition but marriage is more than monogamy.  Shared jointly between the two partners are the roles and responsibilities, rights and privileges that define their relationship.  As we broaden the scope of this relationship, we further understand that marriage is not merely a contract between those two parties but consists of a set of mutual obligations, which both parties must observe.

Thus our culture defines marriage, rather than the other way around.  As an example in the early 18^th century there were no demands for either the bride or groom for pre-nuptial agreements.  Our culture has added this (depending on the assets of the respective parties) to some of the marriage agreements.  Since our culture defines our institutions (including marriage) certainly an unequal or discriminatory institution (like marriage) would not exist in our culture of tolerance, equality, and fairness.  Marriage fairness therefore enshrines those basic rights and ultimately strengthens the institution of marriage.

Harmful or Unproductive Child Development

There have been many studies showing conclusive evidence that gay marriages with children are not any more harmful or unproductive than heterosexual marriages with children.  Relating the conclusion of any one or several studies would indeed be counter productive within our limited discussion.  In addition, opponents of marriage equality present their own assumptions that distracts from the main conclusion of any original study.

It is important to note there is no evidence that gay parents are either inferior or detrimental to children’s development.  All studies show that parents, whether in a homosexual or heterosexual arrangement (marriage) are the best framework to rear children because they provide a stable environment of love and compassion within the framework of a family.

Religious Persecution

Many opposition groups feel the first amendment rights they enjoy could be challenged with the passage of gay marriage.  Leaders of these groups, like Peter Labarbera, believe the moral high ground allows them to oppose homosexuality in all of their perceived forms.  Some church leaders like the New York Archbishop Dolan would curtail many of their church operations like adoption services unless there are provisions in the law mandating that they can use their own criteria (or moral compass) without fear of reprisal by a ruling from the courts.

Recognizing that we live in a society that embraces tolerance and understanding, certainly the exercise of free speech by demonizing others does not equate with these beliefs.  Not so long ago, many individuals (and churches) made racist and inflammatory speeches that directly led to the concept and perpetuation of racial segregation.  Using biblical rhetoric many churches before the Civil War, believed adamantly of the inherent superiority of the Caucasian race and the degradation and domination of African Americans with the subjugation of Native American lands.

Today individuals who speak such hateful and derisive speech would be shunned by society and rightly so.  This is progress of our society and gay marriage would permit an even greater acceptance for all Americans.  The NY legislation also provides certain “carve outs” for groups and organizations who are not morally inclined to continue their work without being sued.  All groups are free to exercise their conscience as part of our bill of rights and this alone should not prevent the passage of gay marriage.

Social Disorder

Gay marriage is legal in the Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Canada, South Africa, Norway, Portugal, and Argentina.  Since these countries have enacted marriage fairness there have been no outbreaks relating to unfair discrimination, no riots, no destruction, and no desecration of the social fabric.  There is peace and the knowledge that marriage fairness is morally correct and passage elevates our institutions and more importantly our own selves regardless of your sexual persuasion.

Below are the remaining six New York Republican senators with their email addresses and phone numbers so whoever wishes to weigh in on Monday (the tentative scheduled date for the vote) may do so.